So I have a few minutes to kill before I go and meet some friends I met this last week. I was talking to a friend today and we were both wondering why break ups take so long and how girls always seem to come out on top..We came to a conclusion, at some point when a couple decides they do not want to be together any more, instead of doing the mature thing and saying lets call it quits and go our separate ways. The more difficult path is usually chosen and this is where all the petty arguments come in. You fight about why there is no more detergent and yet when you first started dating you went shopping together and did laundry together.
You argue about the thermostat, the amount of gas in your imaginary car.. the list is endless.
The way it plays out is most guys feel like they have won the argument when the girl concedes or she sheds a tear in which case the guy in question feels bad and says sorry. This cycle continues for a while but really you are prepping your girlfriend for her final assault. While men will fight battles out in the war fields... Girls are a little more cunning, they use terrorist tactics. I am going to touch on one such tactic now.
During the course of the argument, the girl slips some comment in. The comment is about something that was a somewhat sensitive issue and it took you all your heart to tell her. She abuses that week point and well in the heat of the argument you do not really think about it but later on you are like wow that hurt. You see girls seem to use the small ammo here and there, they plant seeds till eventually you fall apart. Pretty ingenious actually, as opposed to the full on frontal assault where you wind up feeling guilty and saying sorry.
The icing on this terrorist cake is when she tells you to stop calling because she is seeing someone else and he doesn't appreciate it or she puts all this pictures on facebook... Twitters about him all the time etc. It takes guys a while to heal from that kind of thing but that good part about it is... It does end... and when it does when you stop caring, they come back one last time to try see if you are still interested and if maybe they can take you for one more round in battle.
I was quite intrigued by this theory and I am wondering what everyone else is thinking.
3 comments:
you cant force something but you can improve your odds...
in my experience some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway. So it comes as no surprise when lies and mental terror are the way to close the deal.
@Mark: I was thinking about it, not to spark a sexist debate here or anything but it goes to show two things, men are more mature in that they do not call upon the girls insecurities in the same way that girls do. Secondly for the most part girls need to just stop dicking guys around, cause then they complain when guys cheat and stuff (which i dont condone) but after getting traumatized.. why not could be the reasoning.
Well. Not to spark a sexist debate, but in all honesty I think the 'sparks' have already flown. This is only the resulting flame...
Personally, I'm not sure how you can really believe that: "men are more mature in that they do not call upon the girls insecurities in the same way that girls do." In my experience, men play on women's insecurities just as often, if not more than women do for men - in individual, social, political, economic and household spheres. Things like body image (which certainly has a stronger social regulation for women than men), or 'sexual promiscuity' (can you think of a word for men with the same definition and connotations as 'slut'?). Lets not even dive into underlying social issues in what is still, unfortunately, a patriarchial society.
The truth is that men and women 'fuck' each over equally, in varied ways in relationships. But I would guess that the root of the issue is planted in the social science fields, and not a simple, vague, and stereotyped depiction of gender.
While some other comments are equally inflammatory, lets suffice it to say that broad definitions and statements based on limited individual experience are always dangerous.
That said, all of this is not to discount your own experience - only to question the blanket statements that experience has led to.
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